The Life of a Pastor's Wife

The Elders at our church (Faith Bible Church) are always so great about encouraging the wives of the pastors/men in leadership at our church. They recently sent this out to all the wives of men in leadership, and I was so encouraged and challenged by it that I thought I would share it on here. It really applies to every wife who's husband is in leadership in the church. Hope you ladies are as challenged by it as I was....

There are a few things that we, as pastor's wives must consider, and should teach other women aspiring to be a Pastor's wife. This applies to every woman whose husband is in ministr

1. It is a hard business, a difficult calling. Do not do it unless you are

ready to make it about others and not yourself.

2. It is a call to primarily watch God use your husband and secondarily use you.

It is a Christlike humbling of yourself to watch him succeed.You must be willing to be behind the scenes and you must be willing to stand on the sidelines and cheer.

3. Everything you do, wear, say, write, listen to or promote must be helpful to

a majority of believers in the church (Understand how much God loves and seeks

to protect the body of Christ) There is no room for selfishness, vanity, disregard

for the weaker brother or independence.

4. You must be willing to bend and give. Hold nothing so dear, that it cannot

be sacrificed for the good of the church. Your preferences are good and fine,

but they can not be touted as the way things should be. You must give way to

the desires of others, many times, for their growth.

5. People will judge you. Let them think what they want. Win them over with

Christ-likeness and love. Know and understand God and his love for you and

be satisfied with Him alone. Stand up confidently (not arrogantly) with genuine

love for even the meanest person in the church. Win God's smile on your life,

through humble, sacrificial obedience and don't care too much about what people think of

you.

6. Always be learning. Reading God's word. Listening to sermons. Confronting

yourself. Repenting. Admitting your faults.

7. Commune with God in deep, long, devoted prayer. Keep him as your closest

confidant. Know his love for you. Feel his presence as the realest

thing you do all day. Speak to him with humility and trust. Know that he

answers prayer. Have huge faith in His goodness.

8. Live holy. Sacrifice every friendship that drags you away from pure devotion

to him. Throw away music and movies that glorify sin. Do not value what the

world values (physical attractiveness, wealth, power, popularity, being liked,

being praised etc.)

9. Hate sin, love righteousness. Recognize Jesus as the source of all your

goodness and you as the source of all that's bad.

10. Be hard on yourself and easy on others. Listen. Sacrifice. Reach out. Don't

show favoritism. Keep your mouth shut when you feel like being annoyed. Be genuine

in your love for others. Don't think of yourself as better than they are. Never look down on anyone. Jesus loves them just as much as he loves you. Do not devalue them or think they are privileged just to gain one ounce of your time. God could use someone that you look down on to teach you and humble you.

11. Give all glory to God.

12. Be always ready to forgive, you will have plenty of opportunity to do it.

13. When attention is drawn to you, that is the time to make it count. Be ready

to speak about God's grace and his kingdom. Don't let pride make you either shy

away, or steal the spotlight. Speak up with confidence for the glory of God. Every

opportunity to tell others how much you love Jesus, should be taken.

14. Remember your influence at home is everything to your ministry. Don't neglect your home, your husband's wants or your family's needs. Discipline your children with diligence. Love them and have fun with them, build into every quickly-passing moment, something of the grace of Christ. Do not give the majority of your time to anything else. If your family dies, so does your husband's credibility and you dishonor the word of God. Ministry does not need to be done by you if your marriage is struggling and your kids are disobedient. Drop everything for their souls. Your husband was called to ministry and you were called to your husband. If you were called to ministry (primarily) God would have kept you single.

Silence

I have prayed for a particular situation for almost a year now...prayed the same prayer, pleaded on my knees. And there has not been a yes, or a no...just what seems like silence. I know through the silence my Abba Father is saying, “Daughter, trust in me...wait for my perfect timing”. I am ashamed how often I let my heart deceive me, allowing myself to believe that I know what is best for myself. I get confused, or hard-hearted when things don’t work out the way I think they should but then I remember...

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.” - Isaiah 55:8

Then I have to stop myself and remember that His plans are not always the same as what I have planned for myself, in fact most of the time they look very different. But its the learning to sit, wait, and trust in the Lord’s perfect timing that I have been working on. This last week in d-group we were studying through 1 Peter 4, and verse 19 which says

“So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.”

The part where it says “commit themselves to their faithful Creator” really stood out to me. First, He is FAITHFUL! The Lord has proven himself again and again, and yet so often I forget. I know that I can wait and trust in His PERFECT timing, because He has proven himself faithful in the past, and I know He will continue to be faithful when I am faithless in the future. Second, He is our CREATOR...I don’t know why but it is such an intimate word to me. He created me! He knows every part of me, my sin bents and my strengths. He knows my struggles, and yet He is faithful to continue in His steadfast love towards me, to continue to shape me into who I am supposed to be....

So, all that to share what has been on my mind this week. The Lord is growing me...and although it seems like there is no answer yet, I will wait quietly in the silence for His answer, because HE is faithful! And although the answer may be not now, later, or never, I know I can trust that His plan in every situation is for His GLORY and my GOOD!

Silence-Joy Williams

Are you listening
To anything that I say
'Cause I been praying
How many prayers can I pray
I'm still waiting
Maybe You'll show up today

I know You're here, but I can't feel You
And if You're speaking, I can't hear You
How much longer will this last

So okay Answer me with silence
It's okay if You don't say a word
You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet
So okay
Answer me
With silence

Why do I question
Your intentions for me
When Your affection
Is a proven legacy

Oh Father, Father
Turn my fears into peace
I know Your love will never leave
I know You want what's best for me

You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet

Oh, it's okay
If You answer me with silence
And it's okay if You don't say a word
You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet
So okay
Answer me
With silence

Pinneaple Chicken with Fried Rice

Recipe time! I made this for dinner last night and thought I would share with all of you. This recipe is super easy, and has quickly become one of our staples, especially because I almost always have everything I need in my pantry and fridge. For all my gluten/dairy free friends this recipe is for you! Just switch out the soy sauce with your gluten free soy sauce and use I can't believe its not butter (or whatever one you prefer) in the fried rice. ...Hope you enjoy it!

Pineapple Chicken:

-Two thawed boneless, skinless chicken breasts

-1 Can of Pineapple slices (with juices)

-1 Cup Soy sauce

-1 Tablespoon minced garlic

-1 Tablespoon fresh ginger (I use the kind that comes in a jar)

-3 Tablespoons sugar

Combine all the ingredients above in a Zip-lock and let it marinate for at least 1/2 hour. Then put the chicken on a BBQ an cook it up (usually takes 10-15 minutes depending on the size of you chicken breasts). Put the pineapple on for the last 5 minutes or so, you don't want it to get mushy, just warm and grilled!

Fried Rice:

-2 Cups Cooked White Rice

-1/2 Cup Soy Sauce

-1-2 Eggs depending on how big they are.

-4 Green Onions, diced

- 2 Teaspoons Garlic Powder

- 2 Teaspoons Pepper

- 1/3 Cup Butter

1. In a pan on the stove top, melt your butter and let it brown a little.

2. Add the green onions and cook for about 3 minutes, you just want them to soften. Add the rice to the pan, and stir it thoroughly. You want to make sure that all of it gets coated in the butter. Press it down it down into the pan and let it cook for a few minutes.

3. Next add the soy sauce, add a little at a time. Its really easy to add too much, and once you add to much there is nothing you can do to fix it (I've tried). You want the soy sauce to turn the rice a light brown.

4. Next push all the rice to one side of the pan an add your egg in the empty space. Once it starts to cook, scramble it then mix it slowly in with the rice. You may have to break up the bigger pieces of egg.

5. The last thing you need to do is add your spices and your done!

This rice is so easy and yummy, Patrick asks me to make it all the time....

Bon Appetit!

What happened to my lunch money?

Everyone these days is trying to find ways to save money, and cut costs. And, although I am by no means a crazy coupon lady, I have found a few ways to save money when it comes to food....

It all started about a year ago, Patrick and I had been married a few months and I began to feel convicted that I was not being the best steward with the money he was working so hard for. We had worked on a budget during our premarital lessons, but I never really thought about what we had set aside for our groceries, the sheet kind of just sat in my binder along with my other homework assignments. I read through Proverbs 31 and was struck by verses 11 and 12

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm all the days of her life.”

Sure, I was not doing my husband “harm”, but was I doing good for him? Did I deserve for him to “trust” my decisions when it came to purchasing groceries. I wanted to be a faithful steward with what the Lord had given us. Matthew 16:10 says

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.”

So, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I needed to change the way I was shopping. Here are a few ways I have learned to save when it comes to grocery shopping...I thought some of you might be feeling the same way I was last year, hopefully this can encourage you to change too! Lets be wives that seek to be our husbands helpers, who bring them good and not harm.

Way #1. Have a Budget- This may seem like a no-brainer, but I am always amazed by the amount of people who live their life with no budget. They run on empty by the end of the month and have no idea where their hard earned money went. Like I said earlier, Patrick and I made a budget as a homework assignment when we were in premarital, and then later sat down and revised it once we were married and had a better idea of what our monthly expenses would be. It is so nice knowing where our money goes and what I have to spend each week. I especially love weeks where I am under budget and the extra money can then be put into savings, or maybe spent on a special date night! So, if you don’t have a budget, make one, and stick to it when you shop!

Way #2. Meal Plan- This has, perhaps been the most helpful to me. Before, I would decide what I wanted to make each day when I was home from work. Which would then result in multiple trips to the store each week because I would be missing “one” ingredient. But honestly, who can go to the store and just get “one” thing? Its really hard. Now, I have one day a week that I meal plan and go to the store. I first check to see what veggies and meat I have left over from the previous week, what I have in my pantry already, and begin to plan my dinners. Because Patrick and I both work, I don’t plan breakfasts and lunches I just make sure that I always have cereal, bagels, sandwich stuff, ex. I also love to cook and try new recipes each week. So while I'm meal planning I often go to the pioneer woman’s website, or foodnetwork.com to get ideas. Food network also has a section of “budget-friendly” recipes. So, all that to say...plan a dinner for each night of the week, write down everything you need on your grocery list, and go shopping once. Multiple trips to the store = more money spent!

Way #3- When Pat and I were first married, I shopped wherever was convenient for me. This usually ended up being the Albertsons that was 2 minutes away from our apartment. On a side note, Alberstons is one of the most expensive grocery stores you can shop at! I had no idea how much money I was wasting by shopping there and buying name brand items! I now do ALL of my shopping at Winco. Winco is like a Costco sized grocery store for people who don’t know what it is. It was a bit overwhelming at first, but I was shocked the very first trip how much money I saved. Also, when you shop learn what is cheaper to buy out of the bulk bins vs. regular isles. Just because it has the work "bulk" does not mean it will be cheaper...

These are a few ways I have learned to save Patrick and I some money when it comes to grocery shopping. I am looking forward to having more time this summer to hopefully learn how to coupon as another way for me to save money. I have definitely not “perfected” this, there is still many a time where I forget to get something when I am at Winco and have to stop by the store, but I know I do feel like I am learning to be a better steward with what the Lord has given us, and what my husband works hard for! Hope this is helpful to someone out there....

Be blessed!

To blog or not to blog.....

I have been contemplating whether or not to start a blog for a while now. I am excited to now have a place to post my random thoughts, recipes, photos, and updates on the baby that will soon be joining Patrick and I. And yes, I know I am jumping on the bandwagon really late, but I am excited to now be a part of the "blogging world". Hopefully someone will actually read it.....